I can't stand it when my Sims live fulfilling lives. I like to drown patrons of my parks in Roller Coaster Tycoon. As I've grown up, I've murdered hundreds of digital citizens for a few quick chuckles. But when I was a little girl, I loved to mistreat Norns, the stars of 1997's Creatures, the most.
Call me sadistic, but there's something inside me that drives me to bend the rules of every simulation title so that the object becomes treating the game's inhabitants the worst I possibly can. It's invigorating. Feels good to rebel. The game wants me to create and nurture, but I want to wreak havoc and destroy everything I can. And it's fulfilling to me. That's how I want to play. Don't look at me like that. I'm a well-adjusted adult.
Later on in my days of PC gaming, however, I was an evil "goddess" of sorts to a race of beings known as Norns that inhabited a life simulation game known simply as Creatures. Though I would purposefully withhold food from my Babyz and unleash daily apocalypses on the unsuspecting citizens of Sim City, I really had it out for these furry little guys, and thought nothing of driving them to an early grave.
I have no idea why these helpless, innocent little buggers drove me to hurt them so. Maybe I was irritated because of their helplessness. Perhaps it was their grating voices, a cross between baby talk and Furbish. Or maybe it was the "deer in headlights" look their freakishly large eyes had, staring deep into my soul with mind-numbingly bright smiles and ridiculous hairstyles -- particularly the blonde female Norns. I'll never know for sure what sparked this madness in me. But perhaps you can find out, by picking up this quirky life sim for yourself.
Normally for a Retro Recommendation, I'd give you the lowdown on the game, why I thought it rocked, and why you should play it. But for this game, the very first edition of my recurring feature, I think I'll let my experiences speak for themselves.
Released in 1997 from Mindscape, Creatures took place on the fictional world of Albia, a disc-shaped world previously inhabited by a race of beings known as the Shee. After the Shee left for greener pastures, new inhabitants (presumably the player) traveled to the planet to intoduce brown, furry deer-like creatures known as Norns into the environment. Players were tasked with hatching the Norns from large multicolored eggs with an intubator, teaching them to speak, feed themselves, and interact with other Norns, and defend themselves from slimy, green, lizard-like creatures known as Grendels.
Creatures was remarkable in that, by breeding these interesting little beings, traits could be passed on from parent to offspring in ways that even the creators of the game could not exactly foresee. Small retained traits such as hair style, hair color, mannerisms, and different mutations in colors were seen, and for an earlier PC life simulation title it's actually pretty fascinating what all could be done...if you actually played the game the way it was meant to be played.
The game graciously offered up ways to help teach your Norns activities of daily living, such as using a machine conveniently placed in the game's first open area to teach them basic words, items, and concepts. This was accomplished via flashing an action or an item on-screen and letting the Norn repeat it, much like with human children. Words were expressed aurally with a strange combination of higher-pitched nonsense syllables and actual words visualls with word balloons. To teach Norns different words to add to their vocabularies, you needed to type in your desired actions, names, or item descriptions.
As I found the Norns wandering away to be left to their own devices whilst I was holding useful lessons, this began to wear on my nerves. I didn't understand why those "stupid things" (as I complained to my father) wouldn't sit still and learn how to say hello and goodbye. I soon learned that I could "slap" the Norns (and also show physical affection to reinforce positive learning) if they misbehaved. To keep them in place while I attempted to teach them what a carrot was and that they should eat it, I was slapping every second as soon as it looked like they'd stray. They'd fall on their bushy little tails and I'd guffaw. It was pretty pathetic.
When that didn't work, I'd make sure the Norns, looking at my hand-shaped cursor, learned their "names." I'd type "Stupid" or an equally unimaginative word such as "Farthead" to get back at them for being so ignorant, in a way. It made me laugh until I thought I'd fall out of my computer chair, and I'd go back to continually smacking them until they repeated their names back to me, followed by a word like "honey" or "carrot."
I hatched a few more Norns for variety. Eventually I had a few Brady Bunch characters, Sailor Senshi, and Fartheads wandering around Albia. And then they started breeding.
When I began finding eggs from my "partnered" Norns, characterized by kissing noises and a distinct popping sound, I was furious. How DARE they? I retaliated by systematically locating all of the food in the areas my Norns might wander to, like carrots, honey, "hooch," and anything edible that they might find appealing in the least. I would then "hide" the food so that they'd cry for food: "Marcia carrot!" and I'd laugh at their misfortune. That's what they get for disobeying. I went ahead and hatched the eggs, but made sure that the children of my adolescent Norns were kept as far as possible from their parents.
Eventually I began to feel a bit of remorse for behaving in such a way, and began attempting to play the game "correctly." I had perused many a forum online full of tips and tricks on how to make my version of Albia thrive, and I wanted to be successful. For a while, I worked hard at getting them to listen, attempted to teach them how to defend themselves against the Grendels, and even made use of some of the tools in-game to aid the Norns, such as herbs to cure illnesses and general malaise...until I discovered the poisonous herbs, where the destructive cycle began anew. So my continual torture of the Norns marched on for months on end.
After some housecleaning, a move, and the start of a particularly stressful school year, I eventually lost track of where I kept Creatures and its expansion pack, Life Kit #1. The years passed and the series saw subsequent releases of sequels and even childrens' spinoffs. Every time I think of Beowulf I can't wipe the image of a disgusting green beast from my mind, terrorizing the Norns after I unleashed one in their vicinity. Whenever a conversation turns to sim games, I think back on my time with the original game in the series. And as I write this, I think of the fun that could be had with the newer games and the different races and items that have been added since my time in Albia.
I think I'm headed to pick these games up and start anew. Hope I've convinced you to do the same. I've gotten a bit rusty over the years and might need some new ideas to further torment these silly, gullible, and ridiculously fascinating Creatures.
