Twenty years ago, having a tattoo was a sign of rebellion and individuality. Now it's as common as a phone number. As with anything that becomes a part of the popular culture, everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon and is eager to get inked up. But when it comes to actually making the big decision about what's going to be adorning your body for the next eighty years, people tend to get a little lost. As usual, they need to turn to others to tell them what to do.
That's all fine and good, but you may want to think twice before turning to your favorite video game. Read on.
1) God of War
Oh sure, I know Kratos looks pretty keen. But as cool as it would be to have the ashes of your dead wife and child burned into your skin, it loses a lot in translation when you work in a office cubicle. Remember, too, that while many businesses have relaxed their dress code when it comes to tattoos, few are yet progressive enough to accept dual blades.
You know, as long as we're dealing with Kratos, we may as well get something else out of the way, too. Namely, chest tattoos.
Chest tattoos seem to mostly be a fighting game and action game phenomenon, which has given many gamers the impression that they are undeniably bad-ass. While it may be difficult to argue with this, before you apply such logic to your own body there is something you need to consider.
Fact: you look nowhere near as buff as this.
2) Faith
No, it wasn't a great game. I will admit, though, that the design for Faith in Mirror's Edge was remarkably good. Her tattoo gives a glimpse into the dystopian nature of her world. The fact that the tattoo is all hard lines and looks like a circuit board speaks to a sort of new-age tribalism where the gods are electronic and the aesthetic sensibilities are sterile and cold.
I suppose you could maybe pull this one off... if you have perfect alabaster skin, an amazing body, incredible fashion sense, and a kick-ass shoulder bag. In that case, you may be able to pretend for a few minutes that you are as cool as Faith.
You may even try to jump off a building when you realize that getting your face tattooed disqualifies you from most of the world's workforce and starts to look damn stupid once you're past your early thirties.
3) L'cie
For those who didn't play Final Fantasy XIII (and also for a few who did), the L'cie are people branded with these fairly intricate tattoos that somehow give insight into their fate. If they don't figure out that fate by the time the tattoo gains an eye, then they end up as monsters.
That's the simple version. The more complicated version involves J-Pop.
Ignoring the fact that at least one of the L'Cie exists purely as an excuse to flash panty shots, you're still talking about getting something tattooed on your body that only a very specific group of people are going to recognize.
That's all fine and good. After all, recognition is overrated. Tattoos should be personal. But what are you going to say when some cute girl/guy asks you about it at a party? Are you going to try and explain the plot of Final Fantasy XIII to them? Are you going to explain why you have a tattoo from some girl's butt on your forearm?
This highlights an important part of the price of owning a tattoo that people often don't think about. People are going to ask you about the meaning behind your tattoo. You want to get something that doesn't take three hours to explain and doesn't embarrass you in the process.
And believe me... Final Fantasy tattoos will embarrass you.
4) Vulcan Raven
This kind of falls under the category of chest tattoos, or at least tattoos that require you to walk around bare-chested holding a gattling gun. I just thought it important to re-iterate what we talked about earlier.
No. You don't look like that.
5) Dragon Age Tattoos
Remember what I said about face tattoos? At least Faith's tattoo could be passed off as an eyeliner mishap or, at worst, a really bad birth mark. But there is no way you are going to pass off an entire face's worth of ink as anything other than a really bad idea.
And while we're at it, don't try to match tattoos with your level 82 Orc Shaman in World of Warcraft, either, unless you have the balls to also give yourself fangs, colour your skin green, and double your nostril size.
In that case, you're crazy and so the usual rules don't apply.
What is one to do?
I have nothing against video game tattoos. I've wanted to get a pixelated Ness on my shoulder for ages and I wouldn't mind stamping my bicep with an exploding Prinny. I've even been tempted to do the Mirror's Edge thing and give myself a circuity sleeve.
But I haven't. Every time I think I'm committed, I start to wonder... where does homage become emulation? Furthermore, where does emulation become ridiculous? After all, as cool as it is to dress up, how long are you willing to stay in costume?
Just imagine being dressed like Cloud and saying the following words:
"I'd like to order one Big Mac, without tomatoes. And please hold the mayo."
It also begs certain questions of our modern age, like what kind of car does Cloud drive? How does he keep his armour from smelling like a pig factory? Does he deserve a handicapped seat when riding public transportation?
The truth is, as much as we might want to emulate our video game heroes, without the eminent threat of a meteor crashing into the earth or a vendetta against the gods of Olympus, our attempts are much more likely to end up as parody.
Final Word
If you are absolutely set on getting a video game tattoo, then I recommend going the tri-force route. Triangles are never going out of fashion.
